writer, artist, wannabe crafter. This blog is a Hot Mess (TM)
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Jason can’t quite believe his eyes. His old high school shop teacher is standing triumphant in an alleyway with seven unconscious men around him who attempted to rob him. Mr. Fenton is far more than meets the eye.
Something seems … off about him in the low light. “Had Mr.Fentons eyes always done that?” Jason wonders watching Fentons eyes reflect like a cats.
Hear me out
Mr Fenton had always been built like a tank; 6’9 and broad shouldered enough to make Superman look small the first time Jason stood beside him.
(And, like any early teen, Jason had flat out said it. Clark had been adorably dumbstruck right up until Jason produced a class photo. Then he was double dumbstruck - and maybe in love.)
So, y’know, Jason wasn’t surprised he could handle himself in a fight? Almost surprised any thugs would even bother trying anything, but this was Gotham. They had guns, they assumed this guy would be, well, cowed.
But Jason had never seen Mr Dan Fenton back down from anything, and had also never seen that slightly feral glint in his eye. One that wouldn’t have looked out of place on one of Superman’s rogues… or Wonder Woman’s. The kind that didn’t just want one little city to bow to their rule. One that made the Pit whimper.
Jason slowly backed away.
Mr Fenton’s head whipped around like a striking snake, grin spreading wide and dark and feral… and then suddenly he looked normal again. Happy and relaxed, tension gone like it had never been there as he peered at Jason.
“Why, it’s Jason Todd, isn’t it? It’s been a while! I’d say you’re looking well, relatively speaking, but we both know that’s not all that comforting?”
Somehow, that was almost worse.
No one recognized Jason on sight; not since his growth spurt from Literal Hell. Bruce hadn’t even recognized Jason on sight. And what the hell did “relatively speaking” mean?
All of Gotham knew Jason Todd had died, the return was a little fresh and not fully spread yet, but it wasn’t like Dan Fenton would know anything about that.
And then without seeming to move the large man was beside him, towering over him like Jason was still a scrawny kid, a massive arm slung around his shoulders and utterly forbidding any chance of escape.
So punk is pretty anti-authoritarian, loud, fast, and contains a lot of anger, anger at how the world is. It can also be very compassionate to the downtrodden an those the system fails
You know who else has a lot of anger and compassion?
Jason Todd
Jason Todd, the second Robin, the Red Hood. The man was born to be punk.
Danny just works as a punk. His villains range from the government to a Billionaire to a ghost cop. It makes more sense than not for his experiences to have turned him in that direction, and let’s face it one Sam Mason would have helped, even if punk and goth are different
So we have one dead punk boy living in a shitty apartment in Gotham, and we have another dead punk boy moving into a shitty apartment in Gotham
They’re neighbors(I’d say roommates for the meme but Jay needs the added privacy)
So now we have two punks with messed up sleep schedules living next door to each other. They clearly vibe, they hang out, go to each other’s apartments and Jason practically force feeds Danny a healthy meal that has enough preservatives in it to give Ra’s a run for his money
Then Jason got careless
Jason, after accidentally mentioning the outlaws multiple times during a phone call, now has to deal with the fact that Danny thinks it’s the band he’s in. It’s fine, all he has to do is play it cool, roll with it and it’ll be no big deal
being unable to shut his mouth, he actually digs himself deeper. Now, Danny doesn’t just want to see them play, he wants to join, and Jason has made the mistake of saying he needs to ask the band first, only to call Roy who is a little shit and goes “Yeah he can join our band.”
Cut to Jason, Starfire, and a sheepish Roy scrambling to actually be a punk band as they get sucked further and further into committing to the bit
or
Fake Band au, like a fake dating au but with more people and instruments and probably ends in polyamory
Danny says he can get the band to open for a singer.
Jason *who totally thinks it could never happen*: “yeah sure, for for it”
Danny after texting someone: “she said cool. Her next concert is actually in Bludhaven… guess we’re opening for her.”
Jason internally freaking out: “ok”
I want Johnny to start teasing danny, asking about Jazz, riding him up, reminding him of past adventures and mischief (in code/double speak so it doesn’t reveal that they’re, ya know…dead.) danny insists he’s done (or retired or something) and now the outlaws think danny used to be in a biker gang or something
The something is that the Outlaws think Johnny and Kitty are Danny’s exes.
They are at least half right. Danny and Kitty did date for a week. Sure Kitty was possessing Paulina and it was all to make Johnny jealous but it still counts.
(Whether Danny and Johnny used to date is up to you)
(Also are Johnny and Kitty in a throple with Shadow?)
Jason: So. How many exes HAVE you got in the scene?
Danny *oh this is the perfect cover*: Mostly just Ember and her crew ya know?
Kori: Ember?!?
Danny: Oh yeah. We met when she was causing trouble. Ended up gettin into a fight. *pastes on dopey look* she taught me so much ya know?
How fucking wild would it be just to have your bandmate casually drop the fact he dated Ember, an actually pretty successful musician, and he’s just some guy renting a shithole in crime alley
“taught me so much” can be taken soooo many ways
in reality she probably taught him guitar and how to set up equipment
Okay we’re gonna roll back the clock real quick for how this band misunderstanding occurs because I am Having A Vision
Starfire causes a karaoke night after a particularly rough mission
Jason secretly has a fucking killer voice that only Alfred knows about because yes he does play himself theme music inside that hood and sing along under his breath while beating guys to shit
Jason (or Roy) shows Danny the karaoke video as a joke one day and Danny goes “oh cool is that with your bandmates?” Because he’s overheard about the Outlaws a couple times when Jason’s hurriedly asked him to empty his fridge cuz he’s got an emergency mission
(Danny loves emptying Jason’s fridge Jason has Actual Real Food and Good Leftovers this is totally worth being key buddies
Danny also hears Jason singing in the shower and calling missions a “gig” precisely once and came to his own conclusions)
Jason, startled, asks what Danny means “his band” and Danny just gives him a knowing look
It’s cool if Jason doesn’t want everyone to know but they’re key buddies, Danny will keep his secrets, and it’s actually a great excuse for Jason’s weird hours so Jason buys in
And Danny? Well, Danny doesn’t sing, but Ember did teach him guitar
Jason mentions to Roy that his neighbour thinks they’re a band just to chat, as ya do
Roy was raised by Oliver Queen, he’s had a good fucking time on a drum kit before
Starfire has a full on alien instrument because it’d be double cool for a punk band to literally have an instrument not of this earth, and is actually frighteningly good at full on death metal screaming
(This is ABSOLUTELY used to prank all the former Teen Titans you know it is the second the boys find out)
Roy, accordingly, makes them play Rockband after their mission, Starfire loves it even if the “guitars” aren’t as good as her own instrument, Jason appreciates the bit
And it gives him a chance to shoot a lil video of “the band” for Neighbour Danny
Danny then starts begging to go to a gig
Jason, luckily, has the excuse that the Outlaws are very rarely working in Gotham. Sorry Danny, would love for you to come, but Kori and Roy both live across country and fly Jason out to them for gigs. Big sorry
Danny insists he could come and roadie, and manages to meet Roy when he comes to get Jason for one day
(Headcanon that Roy hunts Jason for sport when neither of them have anything better to do, I’ll explain later)
Danny begs to see the band play, or at least one of their own original pieces on recording
Roy, loving Jason’s discomfort, promises to try and dig something up
Jason’s a fucking nerd you KNOW he has written some of his own songs and you KNOW he has a hard time refusing Kori when she asks him sweetly to show her
There is ONE video in the world of Robin!Jason singing a song he wrote
Jason very nearly murders Roy
Danny gets the video
Roy asks Danny if he wants to join the band for karaoke when they bring Jason back, cuz he knows a crush when he sees it and likes bullying Jason
Danny… Danny doesn’t sing well but he does sing with enthusiasm and that’s almost as good! And promises he’s better on bass
Kori exclaims delightedly that they do not have a bassist
Danny begins planning to join the band and even makes an audition tape
This is now completely fucked as a cover and actively threatening Jason’s secret identity, especially when an innocent “hey did you call yourselves Outlaws like the movie or like the vigilante group?” Happens
Roy and Kori have no fucks to give they like Danny and they’re all pretty sure he’s a retired vigi after his comments
Danny asks if he can join the band if he gets them a gig
Jason, sure he will fail, caves
Danny gets them a gig with Ember
Jason is forced to dig out ALL his old songs and filter through those and the new ones to make a full original setlist, and chords for his three bandmates, within a month
Roy, Kori, and Jason practice rabidly because if the choice is “admit the lie” or “commit to the bit” we know what happens
Danny’s first practice with the band is ALSO the band’s first practice as a band, but luckily they all know each other real fucking well
Ember also gave them a couple months to get good before the gig to fold Danny in, SHE knows on sight they’re a very fresh group but she ain’t saying shit she sees the Tension™️
The three original Outlaws are now deathlocked in intense Bit Commitment Chicken waiting to see who blinks first
(Kori is actually for real entirely unconcerned she’s having a great time)
(Roy and Jason are too stubborn to quit)
The gig actually goes super fucking well, it’s a whole thrill, no one tells Jason or Roy that all of Young Justice have acquired tickets
Danny is ecstatic he’s in the band, Jason is 1000% fucked when the next mission comes in, Roy is just happy he’s gonna win by default when Jason has to find a new excuse
Shenanigans ensue, maybe a triumphant night on the town and DANNY saves the group from a rogue attack
Danny joins Both sides of the Outlaws
Two years later someone casually mentions that Kori is an alien and Danny Loses His Shit
Danny going to Gotham and being mistaken for one of the Wayne children and just rolling with it. Better yet, he uses it to try and help the ghosts.
Reporter: Mr. Wayne! Can you tell us what Wayne Industries is working on now?
Danny: Wayne Industries is currently working to annul the law that was currently enacted by the GIW.
The Waynes are all at home, curiously wondering which one of them was the one on tv, and what exactly could this act be.
Sam would be proud. Danny just made it so they have to do something. Exposed the acts.
When they ask him to clarify he just repeats exactly what sam has been saying. That it calls for death of an entire species. One that they don’t understand. That it’s a dangerous thing as it opens potential ways to dispose of meta protections.
By doing this they have to push forward. Obviously they would regardless. But if they suddenly were to go whoops nvm. We’re not doing that. It would make the company look so bad.
10 out of 10. Big brain Danny right here.
Yeah Danny has no way of knowing the Waynes would have done all that anyway.
And they get their revenge. Bruce is on TV the very next day “Well as soon as my son Danny brought this to our attention we knew we had to act.” Flip the channel, there’s Duke and Steph on a talk show “we absolutely support our brother Danny’s campaign.” Turn to the newspaper, there’s an in-depth interview with Tim about how the Acts are unconstitutional and “I personally know people affected by these Acts, so this is important to all of us, and I’m glad my brother Danny has been able to help us bring this to light.”
The Waynes have claimed him. There is no escape.
Danny, who was pretending to be black-hair-blue-eye boy of your choice, shrinks slowly under the couch wondering how the fuck they learned his name
Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .
You can not just say this without dropping the whole story
Ok so,
My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.
The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn’t read the things written by Hand, because he wasn’t wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he’s like:
“Oh, sorry sir you can’t do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)”
The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen’t take the document with him.
The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:
This is a robbery
Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead
I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).
So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.
A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:
Her: how can I help you today?
Him: I’m here to get money
Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*
Him: all the information is on the paper
Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper
SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.
Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.
ONE HOUR LATER
Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.
To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”
Her: I am so embarrassed
FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-
Her: I feel so dumb!
FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)
I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.
He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you’re shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.
So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.
“Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it’ll go through and not hit anything vital and I’ll be able to quit this fucking job. I’ll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register.”
This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming “SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY”.
One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he’d been shot at once.
One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.
My uncle pointed at the “No Smoking” sign and told him in no uncertain terms, “Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first.”
This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.
My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.
This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy
Two bros, chillin in the batcave, 0 feat apart cuz they’re best friends
Also because Danny weighs like a wet baby crow in ghost form and he likes to have his Perch.
Duke would sooner take up Condiment King duties than turn him down
@transsunmoonwizzard You understand my vision and expanded perfectly on it. hold on it’s gettin late where i am but once i get my beauty sleep imma gnaw on this with my pencil
Day Shift is just yellow bat with his weird bird
I lied. The visual had me in a vice grip and kept me awake
I blame you, trans sun-moon wizzard.
Anyway have some rough sketch snippets
im going to bed
Danny “Commit To The Bit” Fenton decides that his next course of action is to modify his gas mask to look like a plague doctor and starts perching in building rafters like someone straight out of Assassins Creed to fuck with people. As such, we end up getting scenes like this:
*Tim, Duke and Jason sitting at the dining room table, minding their buisness*
Tim: “Does anyone… does anyone else feel like they’re being watched…?”
Jason: “Well now that you mention it…”
*LOW STATICKY HISSING*
*Everyone looks up*
chaos’s tags^^
EVERYONE LOOK THERE’S MORE ART
In the second sketch where Danny is perched on Jason’s helmet, it kinda looks like Jason doesn’t even know Danny is there.
So now I’m imagining a game Danny plays where he sees how long he can perch on someone without them knowing. Meanwhile the others are playing Try Not To Laugh, trying so hard to keep the facade of totally normalcy so they don’t clue in Danny’s perch to the fact that they are a perch. Its training, B! We, uh, we’re training our reaction control and deception skills!
Robin (Dick Grayson): first off, that switch had a faulty label and there was no way for me to know that flipping it would-
-time skip-
Robin (Jason Todd): -make the vat of hollandaise sauce explode, I mean who even puts a-
-time skip-
Robin (Tim Drake): -mutant jellyfish in a shopping mall?! I had to do something. So maybe I stole a truck to transport the baking soda but-
-time skip-
Robin (Stephanie Brown): -what did you want me to do? Sit back and watch you get your legs chewed off by an alien life form? And before you say anything I know that it was just Mrs Sands’ Schnauzer but at the time I really thought-
-time skip-
Robin (Damian Wayne): -that the waitress was sent to poison you. My actions were justified.
-
Signal: how come Cass never took up the Robin mantle?
Batman: [without hesitation] she’s not annoying enough to be Robin
